Since the disappointing box office returns of the mostly impressive 2009 dramedy Funny People, a rare example of Sandler challenging himself as an actor, he's been on a downward roll, crapping out one underwhelming comedy after another: Grown Ups, Just Go With It (2011), Jack and Jill, That's My Boy (2012), and now Grown Ups 2. Yes, it's much worse than Jack and Jill (2012), in which Sandler played man/woman twin siblings and, as a hideous female, flirted with a shameful, paycheck-chasing Al Pacino. That's all, folks.īefore any critics were abused by Grown Ups 2 this week, Sandler's worst film to date was, indeed, the first Grown Ups-compared to its rancid, exceptionally bad sequel, Grown Ups is Airplane!. James gets off three solid burpsnarts in the film, but the last one's saved for Grown Ups 2's head honcho, the Sandman, who finally achieves his dream of burpsnarting right before he's about to pork his pregnant wife. Just as there will be jokes about farting, or, to be more specific, something called a "Burpsnart," explained by Kevin James' character as the trifecta of burping, sneezing, and farting, all in succession, basically one motion. The scene serves no purpose, of course, other than to remind viewers that they're watching a Happy Madison Productions release, and, oh yes, there will be gags about bodily emissions.
And then it runs around their house, finds Sandler's oldest son in the shower, and pisses all over him. Once Hayek's character wakes up and screams in frightened surprise, the deer emits a geyser of piss all over Sandler's face. The opening scene of this abhorrent sequel to the lazily written and lazily performed 2010 blockbuster comedy Grown Ups finds star/producer/primary culprit Adam Sandler waking up in bed, alongside his gorgeous, way-out-of-his-league wife (played by Salma Hayek), to the sight of a deer casually hanging out in his room.
For a film that spends 100 minutes pissing and shitting all over its (sucker) audience's hard-earned money, it doesn't get more perfect than that. Grown Ups 2 begins with urine and ends with flatulence. To the film's credit, it does have one thing going for it: There have never been more appropriate bookending moments in a movie. In Grown Ups 2, there are no legitimate jokes-as in, you know, anything that will make you laugh.